House Rules
by starsareFALLING
Summary: KIGO! AU, kind of. Shego is a growing teen villainess living under the watchful eye of Dr. Drakken, and she's dating everyone's favorite teen heroine. Drakken's not too fond of that idea. It's time to lay down the law! A law they'll do anything to avoid.
1. The Rules

Summary: Kim has snuck into Drakken's lair for some quality time with her girlfriend. Drakken ruins it, as usual, and sets in place a series of rules that Shego is expected to follow. I might add another chapter in which she tries to follow the rules and Kim makes it increasingly harder to do so, but only if this wasn't a total waste like I'm thinking it is.

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own Kim or Shego. Or Drakken. Sadly, the only thing I own is a dead sense of humor.

Make me feel better? Review?

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_…rattle…_

Shego's enhanced hearing picked up on the disturbance in the distance, but she was far too busy to worry about what sort of trouble Dr. Drakken had once again gotten himself into.

…_rattle…rattle…_

The rattling had grown in volume, so loud in fact that even Kim, who was busy enjoying a million soft kisses raining down on her neck and collarbone, could hear the disruptions taking place in the lab. Sensation killing her rational thought, she ignored it.

"_No! No!"_

Shego's light kisses followed the gentle curve of Kim's neck up to trace her jaw, loving all of the heavy exhales that slipped through swollen lips to meet her ears. Unable to resist them for any longer, the dark-haired girl brought their lips together in a series of tender kisses that left the redhead with weak knees and a fluttering tummy.

_Boom!_

The explosion, which was rather loud considering that it probably took place from all the way across the lair, startled the teen heroine out of her blissful ignorance. "What was that?" she asked breathlessly, regretfully pulling away from Shego's intoxicating kisses.

_Clang!_

Shego flinched minutely at the noise that reverberated through their lair. "Don't worry," she assured her girlfriend. "Drakken probably just screwed up on his latest invention." Threat dismissed, she turned to look into the flushed face and darkened eyes of her girlfriend and let a grin overtake her face. "You're so cute," she whispered, smiling and leaning down to brush a soft kiss against Kim's cheek, rather close to her ear; the redhead didn't fail to notice.

"_Curses!"_

"Don't see how," the heroine replied, rendered breathless once again as Shego continued to lavish her neck with the same gentle kisses she had been giving her since Kim had snuck in through the window nearly half an hour ago. Mind a blank, her hands came up to tangle in the unusually short ebony hair seemingly of their own accord.

Shego chuckled quietly into the redhead's ear, eliciting a full-bodied shiver. "That's 'cause you can't see yourself," the brunette whispered. Smiling to herself, she brushed a feather-light kiss against the overtly sensitive spot just behind Kim's ear, awaiting the inevitable reaction. As if on cue, the fingers tangled in her raven locks lost their hold and the older girl helplessly tilted her head farther to the side, a quiet moan escaping her. Deciding to ease off a bit, Shego abandoned the exceptionally responsive area to press a kiss against Kim's temple.

Unfocused green eyes fluttered open to survey a pair darker than her own, vision hazy, in a state similar to near-unconsciousness, breathing heavily through trembling lips. Such a state had grown into an expectation when in close proximity to her girlfriend. 'God, how does she do this to me?' the redhead wondered, raising a hand to caress the nape of Shego's neck with gentle fingertips. 'Magic. She's magic,' she answered herself, the last coherent thought before her mind went blank as Shego leaned down to kiss her again.

"Shego! Shego, I--"

Separating in such a hurry that Kim was almost knocked to the floor, they whirled in the direction of the familiarly annoying voice. Their faces grew pale at the sight of Dr. Drakken frozen in the doorway, one arm raised, mouth still hanging open.

"I--I--I would like to speak with you…" he finally finished, dumbfounded.

Kim hesitantly removed herself from Shego's embrace. Rising to her feet, face flushed in a claret tint dark enough to rival the flashing warning lights and sirens that angrily bombarded her mind, she turned worried emerald eyes to meet the darker shade of green staring back at her. She wiped suddenly sweaty palms on the thighs of her blue jeans and tried to fight off her shakes. "Yeah, so, I, uh, I'm just gonna go, 'kay?" she asked the brunette nervously.

Shego gave a small nod of acquiescence, knowing that the brainless, blue-skinned imbecile blocking the door was far too shocked to do anything about it. Kim nodded goodbye, but the movement was slightly spastic, a sure sign of her inward panicking. With a high-pitched, "See you, Drakken!" she used all her years of cheerleading expertise to execute a perfect jump and flip out of the high window she had snuck into not so long ago.

Shego let out a breath and turned to look at her evil employer. 'Ugh. What a dope.'

After a moment of unintelligently working several vowel sounds around in his mouth with much insubordination, Drakken gestured towards the door. "If you will, Shego…."

Pushing up from the couch, she made her way past the older man, sharp senses noting the heavy scent of smoke lingering in the threads of his clothing. She resisted the urge to laugh in his face at the soot that covered it and the odd new style his hair was sporting. She stopped in the open space at the end of the hallway, turning to Drakken and awaiting her lecture, though what it would consist of, she had no clue. Maybe something like, 'Shego! How dare you consort with the likes of that nefarious Possible girl! She's always out to thwart my dastardly plans of brilliance, and if you haven't noticed, in all of my millions of attempts to obtain the most favored of the worldly pleasures, she never ceases to humiliate me! Rather easily at that! I forbid you to let her into my lair! She has an easy enough time of it herself!'

'Nah, that's too articulate.'

Drakken floundered in front of her for a moment, unsure where to start. For a moment, a very long moment, Shego noticed, he stood with his arms crossed, then uncrossed them, again crossing them not a moment later. He tapped his foot impatiently, awaiting some sort of sign to tell him how to begin admonishing her for her secret philandering, especially with a person he so despised. "Look, Shego," he began, holding out his hands to keep her from speaking. "I don't mind your sexual preference, you know I don't, it is fine by all means, but these desires, is it absolutely necessary that they have to be fulfilled by _KIM POSSIBLE!?_"

Shego winced as his voice echoed throughout the lair.

Drakken sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. When no response was forthcoming from his employee, he continued. "At least tell me how long the two of you have been…." He let a silence follow his words, making a gesture to construe his meaning instead.

"Two months?" Shego offered apprehensively.

"Two months? Two months!" the blue-skinned doctor raged incredulously.

'Drama queen,' the brunette teen thought, rolling her eyes.

"That was about the time everything started to go horribly wrong _before I even finished the plans_!" he thought aloud, the wheels churning in his peculiarly brilliant-but-idiotic brain. Shego turned her head to avoid his eyes and rubbed the back of her neck, coughing as soft and inconspicuously as she could. Drakken turned accusing eyes toward her. "You! You told her about my ideas! You told her how to stop me!"

"I had to!" Shego cried, slightly ashamed. "She pouted at me!"

Drakken threw up his hands. "I don't believe it!"

Shego dropped her gaze to the tiled floor, ignoring Drakken's mutterings. 'Hey, that pout is persuasive…' she thought, huffing inwardly. 'I'd like to see him deny that pout anything!'

Finally, Drakken turned his gaze back toward the teen villainess, hands on his hips; Shego couldn't help but think that he looked rather like an upset mother. "Now, Shego, if you're to continue living in this lair, there are some rules you going to be expected to follow, especially if you expect to be allowed to continue seeing that Possible brat!"

"Hey!" Shego exclaimed irately. "That's my _girlfriend _you're talking about!"

Drakken sighed. "Belay that, Shego. Rules! There are _rules _to this lair, as there are to any housing arrangement available to a growing teenage villain!" Shego sighed, but remained silent and awaited his speech. "Alright, first…" he started, as if still thinking what the first rule should be even as he spoke. "You are not to have that girl in my lair after… nine!"

Shego gaped at him. 'He's worse than my mother!' she thought. 'But there is no way I'm putting up with that!' She crossed her arms. "Midnight."

Brow furrowed, Drakken replied, "Ten!"

The teen's eyes narrowed. "Eleven."

"Fine, eleven," he conceded, threatened by that simple act alone. "Rule number two: you will continue to battle her for me when I'm trying to get away with something devious."

'Doesn't mean I have to win,' Shego thought, inwardly shrugging. However, another idea soon came to her. 'Then again, we could always just make out for a while, and _then_ she could kick his ass….' She grinned, nodding her head. "Sure," she replied.

"Good. Rule number three: you will _not_ tell Kim Possible of our plans!"

'That might be a problem…' she silently admitted. Raising a hand, she begun, "Well, actually, I--"

Drakken interrupted her before she could even start to make her point clear. "Shego, I am willing to accept your…_ unorthodox…_ relationship," he said, choosing his words carefully as a precautionary action in the face of the extremely dangerous teen, noticing that she was quite sensitive when it came to speaking of the redheaded menace. "But I will not allow you to give away the key to my well-thought-out brilliance!"

"But--!"

"Shego! These rules will be followed, or I will forbid you to see that girl!"

'Like you could stop me,' the teen thought angrily, plasma raising the heat of her body as her annoyance grew. Forcing herself to calm down, she decided not to push her luck. "Okay, wait, how about this: I'll _try _not to tell her of your plans…."

"Shego--"

"Really, Dr. D, there's nothing I can do anything against that pout!" the teen confessed. "It's like my kryptonite! Everybody has one and she's mine! She can get anything out of me if she pouts. _Anything_. I swear I'll try not to tell her anything. I can't promise you that I can resist her, 'cause I can't, but I promise I won't come outright and tell her; she'll have to work for it. Okay…?" She waited tensely for his answer; there was no other alternative.

The blue-skinned man rolled his eyes. "Oh, alright."

Shego sighed, grinning inwardly once more. "Anything else, _mom_?"

Drakken sighed, wondering at Shego's sanity. He began to walk towards her, intent on the idea of trying to fix the lab he fried, but almost as an afterthought, he added, "Yes; your door will stay open when she's here. I will not have the two of you fornicating while you are under my roof!" He brushed past her and continued moving on.

'Oh, hell no!' the teen thought angrily.


	2. The Rule Relay

Summary: Kim sneaks back into Shego's room, just three hours later. Shego then describes Drakken's inane rules.

Review?

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Shego sighed and slammed her bedroom door behind her, casting a despairing glance at her hands and arms. Three hours spent lugging chunk after chunk of blackened and charred pieces of metals and oil-slicked gears and crumbling sprockets out of the bombsite Drakken's lab had become had left her quite the mess; greasy fingers, sticky trails along her arms, and a stubborn streak across the bridge of her nose, even clinging to the back of her neck, not to mention the destruction her clothes had suffered. The mess was everywhere, and though the teen villain had never thought of herself as much of a girly-girl, it was undeniably disgusting. 

"_Shego!"_

Casting a venomous scowl over her shoulder, as if she could shoot daggers at Drakken through the steel door she had just slammed, she resisted the urge to growl. 'Ugh, that man is insane,' she thought, and instead made her way towards her bathroom to wash up.

"_Oh, where has that girl gone to now?"_

Careful to avoid spreading the muck she was covered in, she walked as if on strings. Shoes covered in the same sticky substance, completely ruined, to her annoyance, she kicked them off by the door, and as she moved, a familiar scent drifted to her nose.

'Kim?' she wondered, glancing around the room. She recognized the perfume instantly, as it was a favorite of her girlfriend's to wear whenever she would sneak in. Roses and citrus; one of the oddest pairs that Shego could ever think of, but it worked surprisingly well for the tiny redheaded heroine. However, no such tiny heroine could be seen, and Shego sighed, deducing that her scent merely lingered on the couch they had been so rudely interrupted upon.

Frowning at the memory of their interruption, she continued toward her bathroom. A hot shower was calling her name, and quite loudly at that, and the thought of waving cheerily at the dirty water as it swirled down the drain in their final farewell lightened her mood some. Of course, she was to be sentenced to an eternity of scrubbing away at the muck before the satisfaction a clean body would bring about would be received, and that was more than a little annoying.

'No pain, no gain; God, I hate that!' she growled inwardly, finally reaching the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar, thankfully, making a much easier job, and she nudged it open with her socked foot, which was, regrettably, the only sanitary limb available. She began to lift the hem of her shirt with careful fingers; it still had a chance to be saved!

"Hey."

"AHHHHHHH!!!"

Shego jumped nearly a foot in the air, landing awkwardly without her shoes, consequently slipping on the tiled bathroom floor without the safeguard of rubber soles to keep her upright. Falling gracelessly to her butt as result, teeth clenched, and thanking God that she didn't taste blood, she looked up into the grimacing face of her girlfriend.

Cheeks nearly as red as her hair, Kim whispered meekly, "Sorry…."

Shego sighed, reluctant to put a filth-encased hand to her thundering heart. "Jeez, Kim…" she muttered, falling back with a quiet thunk, ignoring the minute jar it delivered to her brain. 'So, that's why the shower was calling so loud. It actually had a voice,' she thought, but as usual, she couldn't muster even an ounce of anger towards the sheepish heroine.

"_Shego? What was that?"_

The brunette jumped to her feet, eyes wide. "Uh, nothing, Dr. D!" she called. Floundering for an answer, she shouted the first thing that came to mind. "Spider!"

"_For Heaven's sake, Shego, you're a villainess! Toughen up, will you?"_

Shego let out a relieved sigh. 'Thank God.' She wondered for a moment what happened to her previously impeccable skills of excuse, but dismissed it, and allowed herself to slouch back against the doorframe. "I'll get right on that, Dr. D," she muttered.

"Well, that's an insult if I've ever heard one…" Kim pouted quietly.

Shego turned confused jade eyes towards the redhead.

Kim frowned, though she wasn't truly upset. Shego found the crease between her brow and the pout in her lips to be quite endearing effects, oblivious to Kim's ploy. "First, you call me nothing, then you insult my appearance, and say I'm something as gross as a spider!"

Shego frowned as well. After speaking, Kim had lifted her arms to hug herself and dropped her eyes to gaze forlornly at the tile below them. "Awh, Kimmie… I didn't mean it like that," she whispered. She stretched out her hands, intending to comfort the tiny redhead, but cringed at their dirty state. Sighing in the face of defeat, she changed tactics, instead stepping forward and pressing her forehead to her girlfriend's. She rubbed their noses together in a brief Eskimo kiss, barely catching the smile twitching at the corner's of Kim's lips, and whispered, "It was the first thing that came to mind. I had to think of _something_. Otherwise he would have just barged in here to grill me because my door's shut…."

Kim pulled back slightly, cocking her head to the side. "Because your door's shut…?"

Shego nodded and rolled her eyes. "New house rules."

Kim raised an eyebrow, inviting the brunette to explain.

Shego shrugged, as if to say, 'Don't as me why; he's crazy,' but replied, "After you left… which was only like three hours ago, now that I think about it…" she added as a side note, like she would always throw in on occasion, "Drakken kind of went all postal-mom on me. Oddly enough, though, he doesn't mind that we're dating." At Kim's dubiously furrowed brow, Shego continued, attempting to assure her. "Well, he was kind of angry in the beginning… 'cause he figured out that I was telling you how to foil all his plans, then he mumbled for a while, dunno about what though, and then he was raving about rules." She shrugged once more, but inwardly winced at her repetitive habit.

'It's Drakken's fault. I'll never understand that man.'

"So… what are these rules?" Kim asked slowly, still a bit unconvinced. 'I mean, what kind of brilliant evildoer would be stupid enough to let their teen protégé date their archenemy?' she wondered incredulously, but then she answered herself easily: 'Drakken.'

Shego thought back a bit to Drakken's tantrum and began recounting the rules. "Well, at first, he said you weren't allowed over after nine…" she said, scowling briefly. "But after a bit of negotiation, we agreed that eleven was okay, and I figured that would be fine because your regular curfew is at eleven anyway…." She glanced down as warm hands found their way to her stomach, fingers splayed lightly, and she couldn't help but smile. It was such a Kim thing to do, she realized, as the redhead had always found a way to touch her when they stood close enough for such an action to occur.

"Eleven works," Kim replied, smiling as well. "The second?"

"The second was that I was to continue to fight you while he attempted to get away with something devious…" Shego answered. She felt quite isolated from her girlfriend, despite the affectionate hands playing over her stomach, as she was unable to return her affections. Her arms hung loosely at her sides, and she cursed Drakken for enforcing his act of manual labor, which had therefore destroyed a chance to touch her girlfriend. She suddenly brightened, however, smiling and continuing her rule-relay as the thought struck her. "I agreed; though, afterward, I got to thinking…" she said, once again pressing their foreheads together and rubbing noses.

Kim giggled, holding tighter to the fabric of the brunette's shirt. "About what?" she asked quietly. Seeing that it was Shego she was talking to, it was probably something that had a very little relation to fighting, perhaps even none at all.

"Well, about the fact that we could just fool around instead," came the simple response, and Shego chuckled lightly, kissing Kim's steadily reddening cheek and nuzzling her nose just under Kim's jaw, forgetting for a moment that the grease hadn't totally avoided her face. All aflutter at the brunette's risqué suggestion, the heroine let out a strangled chuckle. Her hands abandoned their whereabouts against her girlfriend's stomach without her consent, and rose to grip Shego's shoulders instead as soft lips brushed against her throat.

'I should have known,' the redhead thought, a heavy breath escaping her. Inhaling deeply as an attempt to steady herself, one hand curved around the back of Shego's neck; into grease obviously, but she had expected it. "And… and the third?" she barely managed to get out. She hoped that mentioning the rules would deter her girlfriend from continuing, the memory of a very unwanted interruption still fresh in her mind.

Shego grinned, mumbling into the redhead's ear, "I already told you." Still miffed that her hands were quite inoperable for the time being, she didn't bother to stop teasing the heroine. "My door has to stay open when you're here." Saying it aloud after begrudgingly accepting it only hours before had suddenly brought back her annoyance. Scowling, she pulled away from a flushed and wavering Kim. "Blue-skinned, asinine idiot! That rule is ridiculous!" Frown fading, her eyes turned to the slightly unfocused green eyes before her, a small smile forming instead. The flustered look was always a flattering aspect of the redhead, but flustered and with grease smeared across her nose and just under her jaw was absolutely adorable.

'Better not mention that just yet….'

Finally able to form words, Kim inhaled a shuddering breath. "Any more?"

Shego shook her head, fighting off her grin as best as she could. "Not yet."

The redhead smiled. "Then that should be easy…."

"It doesn't mean those three are any less annoying," Shego replied, casting a scowl over a dirty shoulder towards the door. 'Maybe if I glare hard enough, he'll explode….'

Kim pulled her hand back from the brunette's neck, grimacing slightly. The grease clung a bit heavily to her fingers, and from the slight stickiness under her jaw she could feel when she spoke, she supposed that the smudge across Shego's nose had transferred over to her as well. "Well…" she started slowly, drawing Shego's attention back to her.

Shego turned toward her, eager to hear the redhead's words as she recognized the mischief in her tone. Kim's grin only made her point clearer to the villainess.

"I didn't hear anything about not showering together… or have I missed something?"

Shego grinned at the light pink tinge that colored Kim's cheeks after she spoke. She chuckled quietly. 'She has a point. Drakken never said anything about showers or the _bathroom _door being closed….' Studying Kim's face, her grin grew. "Well, I did get you a bit dirty…" she said, hoping to find more loopholes in her employer's rules. "It would be rude of me to deny you a shower, and a crime to waste water…."

Kim's grin grew to match Shego's, her hands dropping to the hem of the brunette's shirt.

'This is going to be fun….'


	3. The 'You Too' Rules

Summary: Drakken finds Kim in Shego's room... again. All in the space of four hours. Needless to say, he's a bit angry.

This chapter's kind of long. Sorry about that. I didn't expect it to be so long, but it kind of wrote itself.

Reviews are always a great motivation to continue.

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Kim giggled as Shego helped her into a pair of pants two sizes too big for her. Grasping the brunette's shoulder with one small hand, the other raised to her mouth to muffle her laughter, she fought to keep a straight posture. The younger teen proceeded to zip and then button the pants, her knuckles brushing against Kim's stomach, something that, once she realized Kim's reaction had been one of a ticklish nature, she decided to use to her advantage. 

"Shego!" the redhead hissed quietly, nearly doubling over to avoid her girlfriend's tickling fingers. She grabbed blindly for Shego's wrists. Her nose nuzzled firmly into a cotton-covered shoulder, her aim wasn't at its best, but she eventually caught them and held them away from her body as best as she could. She found herself pressed rather intimately into a warm embrace as Shego freed herself easily. 'What a cheater,' she huffed inwardly.

The brunette chuckled and brushed a kiss against Kim's bare shoulder. Even as impromptu as it was, their first shower together had been a blast, as she had expected. They had remained modestly behaved for the most part, but she did love to tease Kim, and so it had taken quite a while to finish. As many spur-of-the-moment ideas go, they forgot a few small details, which explained why the redhead was sporting a pair of underpants that were not her own and jeans that threatened to slip off of her narrow hips at any second.

Shego let go of the waistband she had neglected to release, and as she did, the pants she so generously let her girlfriend borrow fell dangerously low. "Might have to find you a belt," the villainess muttered. She took a step back to survey the redhead, holding in her laughter. Jeans down quite far past her hips, the black and red underwear she had borrowed were clearly visible above the waistband, and the matching sports bra was obvious as they had yet to think of a possible shirt. Welcoming the sight, Shego was tempted to deny the redhead such an item.

"Why do buy your pants so loose?" the redhead asked. She tugged the jeans higher on her waist. 'How do they fit so much better on her? We're the same size, for Pete's sake!'

"I could ask you the same," Shego replied easily, obviously referring to the redhead's love of khaki cargo pants that she could nearly swim in.

Kim's face flushed lightly. "They're easy to maneuver in…."

"Well, there you have it." Shego smiled and stole a quick kiss, and the redhead happily returned it. While she was distracted, the brunette tugged playfully at the waistband of the jeans, which dropped an inch or two at the disruption in their balance. She grinned and stepped away before Kim could admonish her for her immaturity. "Now, where's that belt?"

The redhead grabbed hastily for the jeans again, dragging them back up to a modest height just above her hips, but she didn't bother to pout about it; Shego was looking for a belt for her to wear, after all. She watched silently as the younger girl nearly turned her room upside down while searching for one, muttering quietly to herself about where it should have been. After a good five minutes of nonstop searching, Kim debated telling her girlfriend to forget about the belt and that she could live without it; it was getting cold without a shirt on.

"Drakken!" Shego suddenly exclaimed, dropping the blanket she had just looked under.

Kim jumped, emitting a small yelp of surprise. The jeans slipped from her grip once more and she reached to pull them up without much thought, almost habitually. Her thoughts were far more focused on wondering why Shego would summon her employer, especially at such an inopportune moment.

The brunette grimaced and moved back to her girlfriend. "He has my belt," she continued in a quieter tone. She noticed that Kim had started to shiver, and she brought her hands up to rub Kim's arms soothingly, both for scaring her and for failing to give her a shirt to borrow. "I didn't want him to have it, but he kept rambling about how my selfishness was going to kill his creative genius, so I gave it to him just to get him out of my room." She moved to encircle the redhead in a loose embrace, trailing warm hands up and down her back. "Huh. That's probably why his lab exploded. I told him not to use an every day, average belt as a fan belt…."

Kim giggled, raising one hand to Shego's stomach like she was partial to doing. The other hand remained clutching the jeans that threatened to defeat her modesty.

Their moment was cut short by the bedroom door swinging open.

"Yes, Shego?"

The brunette in question whirled around, and Kim tried her best to hide behind the slightly taller girl. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" the villainess asked, clearly annoyed. That man agitated her to no end. 'I swear, I'm going to kill him someday,' she thought.

"Why should I knock?" Drakken asked blankly. "You called for me."

Shego frowned. "What? I didn't--"

"You kind of did," Kim piped up in a whisper.

Forcing herself not to glance over her shoulder at the redhead in hiding, Shego thought of when she could have possibly summoned the blue-skinned imbecile. 'Oh, great…' she thought, using all the will power she could muster to refrain from rolling her eyes. 'He must have heard me shout at him for stealing my belt. Oh, well, at least he hasn't seen Kim yet….'

As if it were too good to be true, a studious look overtook Drakken's face. He lowered his eyes slowly, confused. He stared for a moment, and Shego inwardly prepared herself, knowing that something was going to wrong before he even spoke. "Shego… when did you grow a third knee?" he asked slowly, his head cocked to the side, apparently in deep thought.

'Oh, my god.'

Shego's face fell slack and she stared at him blankly for a moment. No holds barred in her mind, the thought, 'is he _really_ thatstupid?' drifted around uninhibited. Then, as if she knew exactly what he was talking about and it was no cause for concern, she deadpanned, "Oh, you know, just now. A few seconds ago, really." Deciding to take it even further, as he seemed to be listening quite intensely, she continued without much thought. "I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? That's why I called you in here, 'cause I grew a third knee and all. I just figured you might want to run tests or something; maybe see if I've got some weird incurable third-knee disease that'll kill me before I'm thirty, or possibly cause me to sprout legs out of my head."

She even threw in a shrug for good measure.

Kim sighed at the brunette's obvious poke at Drakken's brilliance. There was no avoiding it now, though; they were caught, even if the so-called genius believed his understudy. Taking a deep breath and holding to the back of Shego's shirt for support, she slowly poked her head over her girlfriend's shoulder. "Uhm… hey, Drakken."

Using the moment in which Drakken's stare of curiosity turned into one of incredulity to step out from behind Shego, she moved up to stand beside her. The brunette turned to look at her girlfriend, brow furrowed deeply. She raised a hand to Kim's shoulder.

"What are you doing?" the younger teen whispered. "I totally had him going!"

Kim shrugged, though it was hard to do so while one hand was holding up a pair of jeans in need of a belt and the other arm was crossed in an attempt to cover the top half of her body. "You were being mean," the redhead answered simply, to which the other girl rolled her eyes, but Kim was unbothered. "He would have found out sooner or later anyway."

Shego moved to grab the nearest shirt available for her uncomfortably shirtless girlfriend. "Later would have been better."

The blue-skinned man watched the interaction silently, still working on understanding the situation and controlling his anger. They did make a rather cute couple now that he saw them together, but he was so angry that Shego hadn't even bothered to listen to his rules that their cute appearances couldn't shake off his anger, no matter how well they seemed to mesh with each other. The rules he had laid out were fair enough, and yet, Shego still disregarded them.

"Shego! Did you not hear a word I said earlier?" he asked, far angrier than he expected to sound. It was a bit shocking, to say the least, though he hid it well from his employee.

The brunette cringed, handing the shirt to her girlfriend carefully, wincing as if she might be scolded for that act alone. Apparently Drakken's shock had worn off. "Yeah, I heard you. Half the neighborhood probably did too." She crossed her arms, pointedly ignoring his glare, a scowl lurking just below the surface. 'Who does he think he is, Supermom?'

"Then they should help teach you how to obey the rules," Drakken responded heatedly.

Shego's eyes narrowed. "They should teach you how to make better ones."

As the two of them continued to argue, Kim took advantage of Drakken's distraction to work her way into the shirt Shego had given her. It was quite a feat to achieve, she decided, as she had somehow managed it without dropping her pants. She remained silent once she was in a predicament far less revealing, watching them go back and forth at each other. 'They argue so easily…' she thought, cocking her head to the side as she usually did when observing things that intrigued her. 'But I should probably stop them before Shego gets grounded….'

Shego wouldn't have cared if she got grounded; she was well into her angry-teenager mode, and something as trivial as being grounded wouldn't have fazed her in the least. She was jumping down Drakken's throat so far that his brain was starting to implode just attempting to keep up, and she doubted the thought of grounding her had even come to his mind. "That rule is stupid!" she yelled, hoping that maybe after a bit more arguing he would see reason and give in. "Why should my door stay open? It--" her words faltered as she felt a warm hand take her own, and her anger instantly disappeared. She turned to look into the bright green eyes of her girlfriend, noticing the silent plea within them, asking her to avoid more confrontation.

Shego inwardly sighed, but nodded her consent. 'Why can I never resist her?'

"You," Drakken said quietly, still rather upset. He turned his eyes to the tiny redhead, who stared at him impassively in return. He was intent on speaking to her in a similar tone he had used with his understudy, strong and authoritative, as any parental figure should, but the silent threat gleaming in Shego's eyes daring him to say anything harmful to her curbed his tongue. He knew what kind of pain his protégé was capable of inflicting, though he had never been on the receiving end before, and he was content to stay that way. As such, he made an attempt to speak kindly to the small redhead. "There are rules you must follow as well, Possible."

The brunette stared at him in disbelief, as if _he_ had been the one to spontaneously grow a third knee. "She doesn't even live here!" she exclaimed angrily, withstanding the urge to flare up with her plasma while a small redhead held onto her hand. 'He's really crossed the line this time!' she thought, ready to get right back at tearing into him.

"It's okay," Kim assured her, squeezing Shego's hand. She cast a smile in her girlfriend's direction and turned back to Drakken. 'I might as well put an effort into it as well,' she rationalized, an internal nod following her thoughts. 'I'm here enough anyway. Whether Drakken knows it or not….' The redhead nodded to the blue-skinned doctor. "What's the sitch, Dr. D?"

Drakken crossed his arms. 'Well, that was rather easy…' he admitted. He had thought the teen heroine might need some reasoning before she bent to his will, but he was glad for this unexpected turn of events. "I trust Shego has already informed you of the first rules," he said, to which Kim nodded, and he continued sourly, "though neither of you seem inclined to follow them…." He fixed them with a reproving glance.

The girls flushed and turned their eyes to the floor.

The blue-skinned man sighed; there was no point to subtlety. "First of all," he started, his hands falling to his hips, much like they had when dealing with his protégé only hours before. Though, obviously, that technique didn't work as well as he would have hoped, so perhaps he would have to schedule a little heart-to-heart with his own mother to learn the secrets of the Way of the Woman. Filing that away in his To-Do List, he finally continued with his lecture. "You must always announce your presence," he said.

Kim nodded. 'That's fair enough,' she thought, and glanced toward her girlfriend. A scowl and a huffy exhale told her that Shego begrudgingly accepted the idea as well.

"Also, as you two have such a problem remembering it, I would like to reiterate; this door is to remain open while you are here," Drakken said in the firmest voice he could manage. He raised an eyebrow, as if challenging them to argue with him.

Shego was ready to put him back in his place, as she never was that good at avoiding such blatant challenges, but Kim squeezed her hand once more and she remained silent.

"We'll work on it…" the redhead said, gazing at her girlfriend with imploring eyes.

Drakken waited for Shego's consent; he couldn't really yell at her for the door being shut at that moment, because she had never verbally said she agreed to keep it open, but, so help him God, he would not make the same mistake of letting it go unsaid again.

Shego sighed heavily, her shoulders drooping, as if the whole world was against her. 'Why does she do that?' the brunette wondered dismally, shaking her head and trying her hardest to fight of a small smile. She was thinking of the pout Kim had donned to garner the villainess's cooperation. 'She knows it works, that's why.' She sighed deeply again and continued to fight the smile that threatened to give her away. "Yeah, yeah, I'll work on it."

"I suppose that's the best I can hope for," Drakken confessed, shaking his head.

"Damn right," Shego muttered quietly, earning her an elbow in the ribs from the redhead who caught it. She raised a hand to rub at her side gingerly, pouting, but having the decency to appear reprimanded by her girlfriend.

Kim smiled at her gently and turned back to Drakken. "Anything else?" the redhead asked politely.

Drakken thought for a moment. "Would it kill you to use the front door?"

Kim laughed quietly. "You usually try to hide it from me..."

"True..." the genius replied, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose I should point it out..."

Kim shrugged, trying as hard as she could to make it look less dismissive. "I know where it is."

"I should have known," the blue-skinned man harrumphed indignantly.

"If it means anything, it took me a while to find..." the redhead offered sheepishly.

He sighed and shook his head. "You'll use it, then?"

Kim nodded. "I'm pretty sure it won't kill me. Unless you've changed the alarm."

"I haven't," Drakken muttered, shoulders dropping. 'Ooh, she is infuriating!' he thought. 'How does she always do this to me?' Deciding that it was useless to think upon for fear that Shego might somehow read his mind and use it as an excuse to inflict pain upon him, he moved on. It was also hard to stay angry with the redhead while she looked so... passive. "Then it's settled."

Kim nodded, smiling tentatively at the genius. Shego only rolled her eyes at the man.

"Wait--no bringing... oh, what's his name...?"

"The buffoon?" Shego threw in helpfully, which earned her a slap on the arm. "Ow! What?"

Kim rolled her eyes, even though she wasn't truly angry with her girlfriend. She would never expect Shego and Ron to be civil towards each other; they simply didn't mix well. However, it didn't stop her from trying to get the brunette to lighten up on her best friend. "Be nice."

Drakken clapped his hands together, as if suddenly remembering something important. "Oh, yes, the buffoon. He is not to set foot in my lair."

Kim nodded once more; she had expected that, especially since Ron had trashed Drakken's last lair in a matter of moments. "Okay."

The blue-skinned man nodded. "Alright, then, I suppose that's enough for the time being. Please, listen this time," he added, looking distinctly at the brunette teen avoiding his eyes. A scowl and a glare in return was the most he had expected, and he was far from disappointed. "I suppose I'll leave you two to yourselves then," he finally conceded, sighing deeply. "Though, I must ask, why are you wearing Shego's clothes, Possible?"

"Her name is Kim," the teen villainess reminded him.

"Yes, but, nevertheless, Possible--"

"Didn't I just say she had a name?"

"Shego! She's my _archenemy_!"

"I don't care. She's my _girlfriend_."

"Shego--"

"No. If you want me to follow those ludicrous rules, you will call her by her name."

Drakken floundered angrily for a moment, glaring at the nefariously calm girl, but once a full minute passed without so much as denting her will, he sighed and allowed his shoulders to drop. "Fine. Why is… _Kim_… wearing your clothes, Shego?"

"We took a shower," the satisfied teen answered easily.

Drakken blanched. "Together?"

"Together," his protégé confirmed.

Her employer remained silent, but pulled a series of faces that ranged from incredulous to shocked all in the span of five seconds. "I--well--you--I mean--what--" Apparently the words were giving him a hard time, but Shego didn't try to help the struggling doctor, enjoying the fishlike side of Drakken that was being revealed to her. Kim could tell that Shego was content to watch him suffer, and even as goodie-goodie as she was, she had to admit, it was rather funny to watch. After what had appeared to be swallowing his tongue a few times, he finally managed to squeak out, "I… I trust you two behaved yourselves?"

Shego laughed, grinning, purposely giving Drakken the wrong idea.

Kim's elbow became reacquainted with the brunette's ribs. "Of course we did," she replied, almost forcefully. She turned to her girlfriend, eyes once more imploring the villainess to see reason and leave the poor doctor alone. He was being nice, after all. "Didn't we, Shego?"

Once again rubbing gingerly at her side, she nodded. "You bet'cha."

Drakken heaved a relieved sigh. "Oh, thank goodness." He nodded to himself spastically a time or two more than a few, wringing his hands together as if he was trying to assure himself that the world was not coming to a sudden, inexplicable end that wasn't even his fault. "Well, now, I suppose I'll take my leave then," he muttered, his voice oddly high pitched. He nodded continuously as he turned and shuffled out the door.

Kim and Shego let out two of the biggest sighs they ever needed in their lives.

They continued to stand where Drakken had left them. Kim still had one hand grasping a pair of wayward jeans, while Shego was still rubbing her bruising ribs, and their free hands were laced together between them. They stared silently at the door.

'He sure leaves a lot of leeway,' the heroine thought, although, in all fairness, they didn't truly give him a good amount of time to think of more rules, so it was expected. 'Then again, he'll probably just come back with more later.' After quiet moment, Kim turned to her girlfriend. "You know, sometimes I wonder at his sanity…" she said slowly, and as strangely as it sounded, it wasn't an insult.

Shego laughed. "I don't. I've just accepted that he has none."


	4. The Circumvention

Hey, everyone! Thanks for all your reviews. They're really helping to motivate me. Anyway, I just wanted to say that if this chapter is a little... I dunno, out of style, for this particular fic, I'm sorry. I had a bit of an issue with it, but I hope it turned out well. Either way, tell me what you think.

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Drakken cursed quietly to himself, scowling angrily. His latest invention was giving him a bit of trouble, and he wasn't very happy about it. Huffing, he flung the bit of plastic at the lab table and crossed his arms. 'Why is it that I can build lasers powerful enough to sink Australia with no problem whatsoever, and yet I can't make one simple Super-TiVo remote?' 

No answer was forthcoming.

He sighed again, ceaseless frown set. The emergency-alert light set into the wall of his lab began to blink rapidly, and his mood darkened further. 'Oh, those damn raccoons!' Slamming a blue fist down on his desk, the forgotten remote losing hold of its innards, he spun around in his comfy, custom La-Z-Boy office chair. "Shego! Rid our lawn of those infernal beasts!"

"_Rid it yourself! I'm busy!"_

He rolled his eyes. 'Ungrateful teenager!' he cursed inwardly, rising from his chair. 'Now I know how mother felt all those years!' He shook his head and stomped out of his lab. Shego's bedroom door was closed, and to release a bit of his frustration, he made sure to hit it while he passed. His plan backfired, however, and he made his way toward the secret entrance of his lair clutching his hand and screaming profanities that would have resulted in a severe punishment had his mother heard such things coming from his mouth.

Glaring at his already bruising hand, Drakken ripped the heavy steel door open. The sight that greeted him was not very well received. Kim Possible was somersaulting and backflipping neatly over his well-laid laser detection system, and she was making it look _far_ too easy.

She landed gracefully before him, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Hey, Dr. D."

He stared blankly at her, his jaw working. A small tick started below his eye. The teenager was completely unruffled, irritatingly enough. Her breathing was even, her hair was perfect, as always, and her clothes had managed to pass through the endeavor completely unscathed; her backpack wasn't even out of place! Each strand of hair, each stray strap, and each bit of her infuriating, teenage heroine self was untouched. He blinked slowly, defeated. "Possible."

Kim smiled nervously; his stare was unsettling.

Drakken moved to the side, pulling the door open wider for the redhead.

The teenager sidestepped the older man cautiously. He was still staring, and she was still a tad uncomfortable alone with him. She cleared her throat. "New system, huh?" she asked him sheepishly, gesturing back towards the detection system she had so easily maneuvered around. The blue-skinned man merely stared at her. She hoisted her backpack higher on her shoulder, forcing herself to shake the unease eating at her. "I kind of liked that one," she admitted. "It kept me on my toes." She swallowed, and added, "Good practice."

Drakken's gaze remained emotionless, but despite his outward stoniness, inwardly, he was out of his mind with anger. 'Why must she be so irritatingly polite?' he raved. He steadied his voice as he prepared to speak. "I saw you on your hands for most of it," he replied blankly.

Kim let out a tense chuckle, glancing away from the thoroughly whitewashed genius. "Oh, right," she muttered. 'Maybe using the front door was a bad idea….' She nodded to herself and bit her lip, inhaling and exhaling deeply. Drakken stood immobile in front of her, looking and feeling quite defeated. They stood together silently at the lair entrance for a long moment, as the evil genius didn't look as if he were in the mood to move, and Kim didn't want to intrude without his permission. Inwardly sighing, she began tapping her fingers against her thighs, still nervous in his presence. 'Well, this silence has 'awkward' painted all over it….'

After another silent moment, Drakken turned and headed for his lab.

Kim followed him, trailing a few paces back to give him space. The uncomfortable atmosphere followed them as they moved deeper into the lair, and the tiny redhead got the feeling that it would continue that way. 'Why is Shego's room so far back?' she asked herself, continuing to follow the blue-skinned genius, as silent as a church mouse, and just about as timid. Finally, the empty silence making her ears ring, she broke down. "So, how'd you know I was coming?"

"Fake grass. Weight perception," the evil doctor answered monotonously.

The heroine nodded. 'I knew I should have listened to that sign,' she admonished herself. 'Why else would an evil lair have Keep Off The Grass If You Know What's Good For You sticking out of its front yard?' She fought the urge to roll her eyes, instead jumping at an opportunity to escape Drakken, which presented itself in the form of Shego's bedroom door. She glanced after him one last time and then snaked her way inside her girlfriend's room.

Shego, who had been rifling through several of her favorite CDs, paused instantly when an all too familiar scent reached her nose. Kim had almost been the physical embodiment of stealth, as the brunette had barely heard or felt the wisp of air seeping through the door as it opened, let alone the soft shuffle of her shoes on the floor or the slight jingling of the zippers on her backpack, but the self-defeating factor was the redhead's perfume. A shared favorite of the two of them, said perfume was never left unnoticed by the villainess. She smiled from her place on the floor. Previously with her back to the redhead, she forced it away as she turned toward her, an inquisitive eyebrow raised. "I didn't hear any yelling," she stated plainly.

Kim frowned. Shego had surprised her by noticing her so soon. 'I was being so quiet too!' she thought sadly, sporting an inward pout. She sighed, and was satisfied with the thought of, 'She just cheats.' The brunette had always shown an aptitude at knowing when Kim was near, and the heroine had never truly succeeded in sneaking up on her. It was depressing, to say the least. However, she let it slide for the moment; she had other issues to deal with. "Huh?"

Shego laughed and tossed the CD she had been debating listening to onto her bed. Standing from her cross-legged position, she crossed her arms. The redhead stood with her back pressed to the door, just as she had been since entering, and the look of confusion on her face was far beyond cute. The villainess fought to keep her smile at bay. "I can't call you a spider, even if I'm caught on the spot and trying to save you the pain of persecution, but Drakken gets away with calling you a raccoon without yelling of any sort?" she asked. She was fairly certain that Kim had no idea what she was talking about, but that was what made it fun.

Kim's frown deepened. 'Raccoon?' She remained silent as her girlfriend meandered in her direction; she was quite confused. 'I'd say I resemble a fox more than raccoon…' she thought, but shrugged it off. It was Drakken, after all. "He called me a raccoon?"

The younger teen nodded, raising her arms to encircle the redhead's waist as she reached her. "Mmhmm. An 'infernal beast,' if I'm not mistaken… which, in Drakken's mind, is the same thing." Playing idly with the backpack straps falling just far enough to reach the hem of Kim's shirt, studious gaze focused on her girlfriend's face, Shego finally smiled at the tiny heroine, continuing with a dismissive, "He wanted me to rid the lawn of you…."

"Oh…." Kim frowned again. "I didn't hear him," she offered lamely.

"How could you not hear that?" the brunette asked, incredulous. "Houston and the thirty-sixth Apollo heard that!" She pulled back to stare pseudo-seriously into Kim's eyes.

Kim shook her head. Playfully rolling her eyes at the immature statement, she said, "Well, Huston and the thirty-sixth Apollo weren't playing cheerleader trying to make it to their evil girlfriend's laser-protected front door in one piece."

"True," the brunette answered pensively.

"It's karma," the tiny heroine muttered. "God's getting me back for skipping practice."

Shego pulled away slightly, pursing her lips, staring intently the heroine's face, appearing thoughtful for a short moment. "Perhaps," she agreed slowly, but continued to gaze at her for no apparent reason. It seemed that way to Kim, anyway. The brunette continued suddenly, "Or maybe you're going deaf!" The tone of her voice could have been easily mistaken for one of genuine concern if Kim didn't know any better. "We have to check your ears!"

Kim flushed, batting away the hands that moved to fuss with her hair. "My ears are fine!"

"Don't be so sure," the younger teen warned. Easily out-maneuvering Kim's hands, false anxiety plastered on her face, she pushed silky ginger locks behind the heroine's ear. "Hello! Earth to Kim! Kimmie-Cub!" she called, being sure to curb her volume as she moved closer to the older girl. "Anybody home? Can you hear me, Kimmie?" The teen in question giggled and pushed futilely at Shego's shoulders, turning to put distance between her ear and her girlfriend. The villainess refused to be gotten rid of, moving in time with the redhead. Her lips brushed a pink-tinged ear, and Kim stooped struggling abruptly. Shego grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"Princess…?" she asked in a whisper.

A deep shiver shook the heroine's slight frame and her flush darkened to a more intimate shade. She gulped, her laughter caught in her throat; it was no longer a joke about her hearing. That mere whisper had completely destroyed her composure. "Hmm?"

Shego chuckled and brushed a kiss against the curve of her girlfriend's jaw. She pulled back slowly. Kim's eyes were closed, obvious anticipation coloring her face. The villainess smiled. 'How is she so cute?' she asked herself. She was never able to answer that question, no matter how many times she asked herself, and she had given up attempting to, so she shook her head and forgot about it, beginning to comb her fingers through the redhead's auburn locks. As she set the ginger waves back in their place, bright emerald eyes fluttered open to study her. Then, kissing the tip of Kim's nose, for no reason other than the fact that she was unbearably cute, Shego grinned. "I guess you're not going deaf after all," she admitted softly.

The redhead blinked. "I--I told you my ears were fine."

Grin widening, the villainess began, "Better safe than--"

"_Ahem," _Drakken's voice cut in, laced with static. _"Door, Shego."_

Shego halted, aiming a murderous glare at the intercom that had dared to interrupt her.

Kim glanced over her shoulder at the tiny white box as well; the audio output and receiver had been installed just beside the bedroom door, and was therefore quite close to her ear. 'If I wasn't deaf before, I sure am now,' she inwardly complained.

Shego inhaled deeply, hoping to calm herself enough to keep from ripping the box out of the wall. "Why did I let him put that thing in my room?" she asked rhetorically. She let out a heated breath and tugged gently on Kim's shirt. The redhead followed the motion and allowed the villainess to move her away from the door. She pulled it open just the tiniest bit, the only distance between the door and the frame a quarter-inch sliver. "There! It's open!"

Kim frowned. She had been in Shego's room for at least five minutes or so. "It sure takes him a long time to notice things…" she muttered quietly, brow furrowed.

The younger teen turned to face her girlfriend, grinning and shaking her head. "I imagine he was giving himself time to heal. He hates that you can bypass his security so easily." Shrug following immediately afterward, she offered an, 'oh well,' expression.

Flushing, the redhead grimaced. "Oh…."

"Shego!"

"_What_?" she snapped, turning to glare out of the minute gap she left in her doorway.

Drakken's scowl met her on the other side. "I just told you to open this door!"

"It is open."

"By an _inch_!"

Shego studied the gap. "Not even."

Drakken raised his arms, emphasizing his, "There--you see? It does no good!"

"It's still open, isn't it?"

"Yes, but when I said open, I meant open wide enough for me to see into your room."

"That's your problem. You failed to specify how far open it had to be."

The blue-skinned doctor gawked at his protégé, Well, he gawked at all that he could see of her, anyway, which was barely an eye and the corner of her mouth. 'How dare she? Who does she think she is?' he inwardly huffed, far past irritated and well into irate. 'I really _must_ speak with mother.' Unable to think of a good threat and/or admonishment that would have fazed a girl as cantankerous as his understudy, he settled for an indignant, "Shego!"

Her eyes narrowed to a dangerous glare, and the genius could see that just fine through the gap. "Drakken!" she mocked, staring stonily at him, and even with one eye, it had the desired effect. 'What is this guy's problem?' she nearly growled. The impulse to slam the door in his annoying blue face was at a powerful high, but she resisted. "It's open. Leave me alone."

Her voice held such a solid finality that the doctor merely stomped his foot, as immature and petulant as a whiny preteen girl, and stormed away in the direction of his lab, marching in a stiff posture and letting out a loud howl of frustration.


End file.
